Unknowing

The Power, Magnificence and Freedom of Unknowing

Unknowing dawned spontaneously on my conscious awareness seemingly out of nowhere for the first time in 1965, when I was but an ordinary, confused 18 year old. It was the first sign of greater things to come in my life and looking back, I see it as perhaps the most important of all the profound and wonderfully amazing spiritual experiences that have come spontaneously or been Given to me out of the mystery of Reality.

How it happened

I had just broken up with my first sweetheart and my mind seemed trapped in processing this change. The breakup story was cycling repeatedly and uncontrollably, disturbing my peace of mind and heart. This felt unbearable. Nature, my temple and refuge at that time beckoned as hopeful relief . I packed supplies for a wilderness backpack trip alone and boarded a Greyhound bus to Yosemite. Soon I was in the high country listening to sounds I LOVED, the trickle of melting snow, breezes in the pockets of aspen trees among the pines, gurgling creeks and the constant plodding of my heavy laden feet on the trail, all to the accompaniment of my mental insanity. For days this persisted until on a gentle down-hill switch back an expansive scenic overlook came into view and suddenly, for NO apparent reason, my mind dropped away into UNKNOWING. This was dramatically distinct in contrast to my mental state of the last several days, a magnificent RELIEF and completely unforgettable. This had never happened before in my life.

Above is a “junk gate” of trail art I named “Cloud of Unknowing” because of the persistence of this wonderful Unknowing coming upon me from the first time onward, always more and more and more frequently in my life.

Where did this come from and why?

(Whikipedia) The Cloud of Unknowing is an anonymous work of Christian mysticism written in the latter half of the 14th century. The text is a spiritual guide on contemplative prayer. The underlying message of this work suggests that the way to know God is to abandon consideration of God’s particular activities and attributes, and be courageous enough to surrender one’s mind and ego to the realm of “unknowing”, at which point one may begin to glimpse the nature of God.

Aldous Huxley writes:

Knowledge is acquired when we succeed in fitting a new experience into the system of concepts based upon our old experiences. Understanding comes when we liberate ourselves from the old and so make possible a direct, unmediated contact with the new, the mystery, moment by moment, of our existence.

Eventually I found Adi Da Samraj, the Spiritual Master in this life for me. One of the names he called the way that he taught was “The Way of Divine Ignorance” or not knowing or unknowing. MANY years later in the last years of my life, I found a quote in a book by him that explained, when the mind dissolves one is feeling the “transmission” of his state of Reality, the natural state of consciousness.

In the early 1980’s while serving in Adi Da’s home garden doing my best to stay out of his sight and thus not force him to give me his attention, the experience of my mind “falling away” into unknowing (or Ignorance) happened again. I wondered if he could actually see me. The angle of my position seemed to make it impossible for me to be seen from his kitchen window, as the wall I was weeding seemed to be in direct line with his window to the far left. But I tried to see if he could see me anyway. I pressed my face up against the wall and looked in the direction of his kitchen window. And there he was with his face pressed up against his kitchen window looking back, smiling at me!

It was clear to me, he had given me that gift of Unknowing! And slowly it dawned on me that the countless times the Unknowing had come upon me could all have been gifts from Adi Da of his state!!!

Adi Da Samraj passed in 2008, but the spontaneous gift of Unknowing continues to come. I contemplate Reality as it truly is, beyond the mere human invention of language and thought made of language. Unknowing has become the haven of my heart and a means of freedom from the “tyranny of the mind”.